by Nancy Twigg
Adapted from Celebrate Simply: Your Guide to Simpler, More Meaningful Holidays and Special Occasions
REMEMBER THE OLD holiday tune, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”? According to that song, the Christmas season is the most joyful and heartwarming time of the year. But is it really? For many people the words stressful and disappointing are more accurate descriptors. And what about “peace on earth, goodwill to men?” I have experienced many Yuletide seasons that were anything but peaceful and overflowing with goodwill. Haven’t you?
It’s ironic that the very things that are supposed to bring joy to the season are often the source of tension. The giving and receiving of gifts is supposed to be pleasurable, but how can you experience pleasure when you feel burdened with finding the right gifts at reasonable prices in stores so crowded you can barely move? Likewise, good food and drink should enhance the merrymaking. Often, however, we suffer the unfortunate consequences of overindulgence because there’s too much good food and drink available during a short span of time. And the notion that Christmas is a time for family fellowship is hogwash if you don’t have a family or if your family members can hardly stand to be in the same room with one another.
All of these conflicts and contradictions can make your Christmas season far from ideal. No wonder so many people suffer from holiday depression. Even if you aren’t depressed, you may feel confused by anxiety over Christmas or a lack of enthusiasm over the season that’s usually portrayed as magical and marvelous.
“Why Do I Feel This Way About Christmas?”
You’ll notice as you read Celebrate Simply that I have a lot to say about Christmas. That’s because the whole Christmas hubbub has always been rather unnerving for me. Sure, our family has seen a brighter side of celebrating, but each year it takes a conscious effort on my part to drown out all the subtle messages of what Christmas should be. Otherwise, I find myself disappointed because somehow the way things are supposed to be never quite matches the way they really are.
I have to remind myself that this concept of a perfect holiday—one in which every gathering is flawless and each gift I give registers a ten on the recipient’s “wow-o-meter”—is a societal myth. If I judge the success of my family’s Christmas celebration against an unrealistic image of perfection, my family’s celebration will undoubtedly fall short every time.
In times past, before I made this realization, I experienced dismay and dissatisfaction over the Yuletide season. Each year after the last ornament was packed away and all the leftovers were gone, I found myself feeling empty. Where was all the meaning? Where was all the magic, I would think. And why did I feel so blah when I was supposed to be brimming with Christmas joy?
Maybe you’re nodding your head in agreement right now. You, too, may have experienced this feeling of holiday letdown. Or for you, it may have come in the form of ambivalence or downright antagonism toward the holiday season. Whatever the feelings, I believe the culprit is what I call “Christmas overload.”
Somewhere around September or October, retailers begin peddling Christmas joy and don’t let up until after New Year’s Day. Everywhere we look, we’re surrounded by this artificial, commercialized brand of Christmas spirit. No wonder so many of us feel let down when Christmas Day finally comes and goes without the big bang you’d expect after three months of hype.
Christmas overload is like eating your favorite food at every meal for three months straight. Before long, even your favorite dish would become sickening. The same is true with Christmas. How can we truly enjoy something that has been forced down our throats for months? Remember that old expression, “Familiarity breeds contempt”?
I don’t want to sound as though I’m anti-Christmas or that having a good holiday season is not important to me. In the years since we’ve been married, Michael and I have learned to fine-tune our Christmas celebration so that it’s closer to what we really want rather than what we know we don’t want. Believe me, this education wasn’t an accident. It took a few holidays filled with frazzled nerves, short tempers, and way too much stress to help us see the light. Out of desperation, we realized we had to do things differently to avoid Christmas overload in the future.
If you judge the success
of your family’s Christmas
celebration against an
unrealistic image of perfection,
your family’s celebration will
undoubtedly fall short.
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